Diary series, episode 2: My dream

 Hello, welcome!

So last week we caught up on life and all the pressures that come with it. I not only allowed myself to feel last week but I told myself it's okay, to not be okay. Not only do environmental pressures affect my life but my negative mindset do not help either. Last night I was up past midnight bullying myself. I mean, I was being really brutal. I was blaming myself for not being financially stable, not being able to afford a place of my own, not being where I want career-wise... the list was endless. Phew! I tried to write a brain dump of every area of my life that was ailing me. I wrote down my "problems" and possible solutions. Then this morning I had a complete mindshift. I told my negative thoughts to shove it and replaced these harsh thoughts with self-love affirmations. I tried to be positive when writing these ideas, but it was difficult. I counldn't write, "I love my body," so instead, I wrote "I have a body." I'm not used to saying positive hings (I wish I were) so I used my old compadre- the internet for help. A few of the affirmations are borrowed, but as long as I read them and repeat them, they hopefully will become my own thoughts one day. 

However, I like that by reading them, I feel happier and hopeful. The bully is now the cheerleader. Weird how that works. Sometimes I just need to change my mindset (easier said than done) and remember why I created the brand one page of self care a day. I made it because I want to be kind to myself, I want to progress and improve my mental well being. In the past, I suffered for far too long and I made a promise to myself a year after I hit rock bottom, that I would have a happy and healthy lifestyle. This platform will help me with accountability. It's also a great coping mechanism for days like these where I lose my way and regress into old habits- bad habits. My end goal is to be the best version of myself, and I believe therapy, art journaling, blogging and creating new habits will help me achieve my dream. What's your dream?